{"id":3590,"date":"2016-04-25T18:12:46","date_gmt":"2016-04-26T02:12:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.wou.edu\/westernjournal\/?p=3590"},"modified":"2016-04-26T12:19:02","modified_gmt":"2016-04-26T20:19:02","slug":"aswou-offers-super-genius-puppies-effort-attract-voters","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/aswou-offers-super-genius-puppies-effort-attract-voters\/","title":{"rendered":"Humor: ASWOU offers super-genius puppies in an effort to attract more voters"},"content":{"rendered":"
By: Katrina Penaflor \r\nManaging Editor<\/pre>\n
\u201cHave you voted?\u201d Is the question I\u2019ve been asked every time I\u2019ve stepped within a hundred feet of the Werner Center this week.<\/p>\n
And sometimes, I\u2019m positive it\u2019s not even a person from ASWOU asking, just some twenty-something man in a generic blue polo looking to make small talk.<\/p>\n
In hopes of attracting voters, ASWOU has been offering incentives to students who are willing to brave through the labyrinth that is OrgSync in exchange for things like popsicles and brownies.<\/p>\n
But to the college students who \u201csimply don\u2019t give uh,\u201d the snacks just weren\u2019t doing it for them.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe needed to think of something that would entice even more students to vote. We went the safe route with our marketing, it was time we did something really daring. Something that college students would connect with,\u201d said a woman who looked well-spirited enough to be a representative for ASWOU.<\/p>\n
And the grand idea in all of this? Hundreds of adorable, totally-free-if-you-vote, super-genius puppies.<\/p>\n
The dogs, besides being able to do regular dog stuff, can proofread your papers, balance your checkbook, and speak fluent Mandarin.<\/p>\n
\u201cAre they smart enough to vote for me?\u201d A junior, and now new dog owner, Vanessa Rook asked. To which ASWOU quickly responded, \u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
After news of the dog giveaway spread, students flew to the voting stands outside the WUC. I tried to swindle my way ahead of the line by telling someone from ASWOU that I had already voted.<\/p>\n
I was immediately thanked and given a puppy for my \u201cefforts,\u201d but to my surprise the dog turned on me and revealed my scheming ways.<\/p>\n
He told ASWOU that I had in fact not voted. Or at least, I\u2019m told that\u2019s what he said\u2014I don\u2019t speak Mandarin.<\/p>\n
The dog was removed from my possession until I logged into OrgSync and voted for real.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m happy to say that my efforts were worth it, and that I also changed outfits five times that day and continued to let ASWOU know I had voted, receiving more and more super-genius dogs.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u201cHave you voted?\u201d Is the question I\u2019ve been asked every time I\u2019ve stepped within a hundred feet of the Werner Center this week.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":825,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_lmt_disableupdate":"","_lmt_disable":"","_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[25],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3590","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor"],"modified_by":null,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3590","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/825"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3590"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3590\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3590"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3590"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3590"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}