{"id":25681,"date":"2026-04-22T13:14:17","date_gmt":"2026-04-22T21:14:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/?p=25681"},"modified":"2026-04-28T13:16:01","modified_gmt":"2026-04-28T21:16:01","slug":"this-week-in-entirely-made-up-horoscopes-32","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/this-week-in-entirely-made-up-horoscopes-32\/","title":{"rendered":"This week in entirely made up horoscopes\u2026."},"content":{"rendered":"<p>April 22, 2026 | <span style=\"font-weight: 400\">The signs as forest creatures<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Aries: a dryad with fire magic who constantly burns themself<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Taurus: Elf<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Gemini: somehow ended up as a tiny little shrimp<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Cancer: The troll that lives under the bridge in Dora the Explorer<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Leo: A fairy that can only do taxes<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Virgo: Mina herself<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Libra: MOTHMAN\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Scorpio: the Lorax<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Sagittarius: Big foot with shaved legs\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Capricorn: Three goats in a trench coat pretending to be Bigfoot<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Aquarius: Hamster<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Pisces: A bear that avoids being hunted for ten days<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>April 22, 2026 | The signs as forest creatures Aries: a dryad with fire magic who constantly burns themself Taurus: Elf Gemini: somehow ended up as a tiny little shrimp Cancer: The troll that lives under the bridge in Dora the Explorer Leo: A fairy that can only do taxes Virgo: Mina herself Libra: MOTHMAN\u00a0 [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1645,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"none","_seopress_titles_title":"This week in entirely made up horoscopes\u2026.","_seopress_titles_desc":"April 22, 2026 | The signs as forest creatures","_seopress_robots_index":"","_lmt_disableupdate":"","_lmt_disable":"","_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[25],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-25681","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor"],"modified_by":"saragerrick","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25681","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1645"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=25681"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25681\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":25685,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25681\/revisions\/25685"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=25681"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=25681"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=25681"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}