{"id":25357,"date":"2026-04-08T16:40:45","date_gmt":"2026-04-09T00:40:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/?p=25357"},"modified":"2026-04-14T16:42:07","modified_gmt":"2026-04-15T00:42:07","slug":"this-week-in-entirely-made-up-horoscopes-30","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/this-week-in-entirely-made-up-horoscopes-30\/","title":{"rendered":"This week in entirely made up horoscopes\u2026."},"content":{"rendered":"<p>April 8, 2026 | The signs dealing with spring allergies<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Aries: take a benadryl, it doesn\u2019t work, take a benadryl, repeat until i black out<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Taurus: unaffected due to being pure of heart<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Gemini: has been practicing their snot blowing distance<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Cancer: Wears a bee keeper suit every minute their outside\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Leo: Attends every event despite their dad sneezes<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Virgo: Doesn\u2019t have allergies and is crashing out from having to deal with everyone else sneezing\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Libra: Refuses to ever leave the house again until Winter comes back<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Scorpio: brags that they don\u2019t have spring allergies<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Sagittarius: just deals with it\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Capricorn: doesn\u2019t actually have allergies but pretends they do to fit in<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Aquarius: rubs eyes even though it makes it worse<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Pisces: Has allergies but pretends they don\u2019t to act superior to everyone else<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>April 8, 2026 | The signs dealing with spring allergies Aries: take a benadryl, it doesn\u2019t work, take a benadryl, repeat until i black out Taurus: unaffected due to being pure of heart Gemini: has been practicing their snot blowing distance Cancer: Wears a bee keeper suit every minute their outside\u00a0 Leo: Attends every event [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1645,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"none","_seopress_titles_title":"This week in entirely made up horoscopes\u2026.","_seopress_titles_desc":"April 8, 2026 | The signs dealing with spring allergies","_seopress_robots_index":"","_lmt_disableupdate":"","_lmt_disable":"","_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[25],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-25357","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor"],"modified_by":"saragerrick","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25357","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1645"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=25357"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25357\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":25361,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25357\/revisions\/25361"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=25357"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=25357"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=25357"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}