{"id":25350,"date":"2026-03-11T16:37:32","date_gmt":"2026-03-12T00:37:32","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/?p=25350"},"modified":"2026-04-14T16:38:56","modified_gmt":"2026-04-15T00:38:56","slug":"this-week-in-entirely-made-up-horoscopes-28","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/this-week-in-entirely-made-up-horoscopes-28\/","title":{"rendered":"This week in entirely made up horoscopes\u2026."},"content":{"rendered":"<p>March 11, 2026 | the signs\u2019 most performative male trait<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Aries: rattles off that he wants a \u201cwhite chocolate raspberry doubleshot iced mocha\u201d whenever he\u2019s out with a woman\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Taurus: owns every single tote from Trader Joe\u2019s\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Gemini: only listens to clairo and uses substack<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Cancer: Love bombs you then ghosts you<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Leo: Makes sure everyone knows he loves Sabrina Carpenter<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Virgo: Unironically loves matcha lattes\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Libra: saw the new wuthering heights movie<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Scorpio: listens to specific songs they don\u2019t even like to post a good spotify wrapped at the end of the year<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Sagittarius: pretends to be shy and offline but has a screen time of 21 hours per day<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Capricorn: makes sure you see him reading feminist literature<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Aquarius: has princeton in his ig bio &amp; one million $ of debt<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Pisces: joins a newspaper team full of only women<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>March 11, 2026 | the signs\u2019 most performative male trait Aries: rattles off that he wants a \u201cwhite chocolate raspberry doubleshot iced mocha\u201d whenever he\u2019s out with a woman\u00a0 Taurus: owns every single tote from Trader Joe\u2019s\u00a0 Gemini: only listens to clairo and uses substack Cancer: Love bombs you then ghosts you Leo: Makes sure [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1645,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"none","_seopress_titles_title":"This week in entirely made up horoscopes\u2026.","_seopress_titles_desc":"March 11, 2026 | the signs\u2019 most performative male trait","_seopress_robots_index":"","_lmt_disableupdate":"","_lmt_disable":"","_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[25],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-25350","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor"],"modified_by":"saragerrick","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25350","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1645"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=25350"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25350\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":25354,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25350\/revisions\/25354"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=25350"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=25350"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=25350"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}