{"id":25333,"date":"2026-02-11T16:29:57","date_gmt":"2026-02-12T00:29:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/?p=25333"},"modified":"2026-04-14T16:32:41","modified_gmt":"2026-04-15T00:32:41","slug":"this-week-in-entirely-made-up-horoscopes-24","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/this-week-in-entirely-made-up-horoscopes-24\/","title":{"rendered":"This week in entirely made up horoscopes\u2026."},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Feb. 11, 2026 | The Signs as their unhinged Valentine\u2019s Day gifts<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Aries: bad dragon lanyard<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Taurus: bean burrito<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Gemini: chinese fingertrap<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Cancer: little tiny ceramic animals, mostly ducks.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Leo: A voodoo doll of their partner with a <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">lot <\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">of holes<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Virgo: A five page love letter from someone they\u2019ve spoken to once<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Libra: Lego Ninja Character Display 15th Anniversary<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Scorpio: a buy one get one free coupon for a subway sandwich<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Sagittarius: A giant custom face pillow<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Capricorn: cat ears and a maid costume<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Aquarius: hamster\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Pisces: Nothing. \u201cValentine\u2019s Day is just a day, I can show my love and appreciation year round.\u201d (they probably don\u2019t do anything the other 364 days either)<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Feb. 11, 2026 | The Signs as their unhinged Valentine\u2019s Day gifts Aries: bad dragon lanyard Taurus: bean burrito Gemini: chinese fingertrap Cancer: little tiny ceramic animals, mostly ducks.\u00a0 Leo: A voodoo doll of their partner with a lot of holes Virgo: A five page love letter from someone they\u2019ve spoken to once Libra: Lego [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1645,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"none","_seopress_titles_title":"This week in entirely made up horoscopes\u2026.","_seopress_titles_desc":"Feb. 11, 2026 | The Signs as their unhinged Valentine\u2019s Day gifts","_seopress_robots_index":"","_lmt_disableupdate":"no","_lmt_disable":"","_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[25],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-25333","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor"],"modified_by":"saragerrick","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25333","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1645"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=25333"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25333\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":25337,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25333\/revisions\/25337"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=25333"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=25333"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=25333"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}