{"id":24545,"date":"2026-01-28T11:15:25","date_gmt":"2026-01-28T19:15:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/?p=24545"},"modified":"2026-02-16T11:17:50","modified_gmt":"2026-02-16T19:17:50","slug":"this-week-in-entirely-made-up-horoscopes-22","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/this-week-in-entirely-made-up-horoscopes-22\/","title":{"rendered":"This week in entirely made up horoscopes\u2026."},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Jan. 28, 2026 | The signs after a breakup<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Aries: acts nonchalant but is dying inside<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Taurus: orders bottomless margaritas at applebee\u2019s<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Gemini: holy tinder<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Cancer: \u201cI didn&#8217;t even like them that much\u201d (was planning a wedding)<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Leo: Arson and My Chemical Romance<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Virgo: Throws up all over themselves\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Libra: Does nothing but play video games and eat junk food to cope.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Scorpio: Keys their car<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Sagittarius: overanalyzes the breakup text<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Capricorn: Immediately moves on, no time for heartbreak<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Aquarius: holds onto a piece of every person they\u2019ve ever loved FOREVER<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Pisces: Starts reading books and stuff<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Jan. 28, 2026 | The signs after a breakup<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1645,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"none","_seopress_titles_title":"This week in entirely made up horoscopes\u2026.","_seopress_titles_desc":"Jan. 28, 2026 | The signs after a breakup","_seopress_robots_index":"","_lmt_disableupdate":"","_lmt_disable":"","_et_pb_use_builder":"off","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[25],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-24545","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor"],"modified_by":"saragerrick","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24545","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1645"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=24545"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24545\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":24549,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24545\/revisions\/24549"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=24545"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=24545"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=24545"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}