{"id":24208,"date":"2025-12-03T05:52:00","date_gmt":"2025-12-03T13:52:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/?p=24208"},"modified":"2026-01-13T18:01:42","modified_gmt":"2026-01-14T02:01:42","slug":"this-week-in-entirely-made-up-horoscopes-19","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/this-week-in-entirely-made-up-horoscopes-19\/","title":{"rendered":"This week in entirely made up horoscopes\u2026."},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Dec. 3 2025 | What the signs give at a white elephant event<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Aries: ghost pepper hot sauce and bean-boozled with a note saying \u201cdo it\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Taurus: a whole rotisserie chicken.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Gemini: deodorant with a pretty lil bow on it<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Cancer: a bag of those tiny plastic babies<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Leo: A single condom to a notoriously single person<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Virgo: A three pack of plain white socks\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Libra: A Britney Spears-opoly board game<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Scorpio: A used gift card with $1.47 left on it<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Sagittarius: A blender box \u2026 filled to the brim with candy penises<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Capricorn: a jar full of pennies<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Aquarius: hamster<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Pisces: Used incense burner (incense not included)<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dec. 3 2025 | What the signs give at a white elephant event<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1645,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"none","_seopress_titles_title":"This week in entirely made up horoscopes\u2026.","_seopress_titles_desc":"Dec. 3 2025 | What the signs give at a white elephant event","_seopress_robots_index":"","_lmt_disableupdate":"no","_lmt_disable":"","_et_pb_use_builder":"off","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[25],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-24208","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor"],"modified_by":"saragerrick","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24208","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1645"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=24208"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24208\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":24213,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24208\/revisions\/24213"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=24208"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=24208"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=24208"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}