{"id":24072,"date":"2025-11-12T03:28:00","date_gmt":"2025-11-12T11:28:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/?p=24072"},"modified":"2025-12-02T15:33:57","modified_gmt":"2025-12-02T23:33:57","slug":"this-week-in-entirely-made-up-horoscopes-17","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/this-week-in-entirely-made-up-horoscopes-17\/","title":{"rendered":"This week in entirely made up horoscopes\u2026."},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Nov 12 2025 | The signs as their weird secrets<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Aries: is lowkey addicted to going to rage rooms<br \/>Taurus: Dr. Pimple Popper\u2019s #1 fan<br \/>Gemini: favorite app is quora<br \/>Cancer: Collects creepy porcelain dolls<br \/>Leo: Is scared of the dark<br \/>Virgo: Committed a hit and run 3 years ago<br \/>Libra: Makes their food talk to each other while they are eating<br \/>Scorpio: Keeps a jar of toenail clippings<br \/>Sagittarius: Makes their pet lick peanut butter from their toe<br \/>Capricorn: secretly sticks their used Zyn pouches on their bedroom wall<br \/>Aquarius: can\u2019t read \ud83d\ude41<br \/>Pisces: Is secretly a SoundCloud rapper and starts every song by saying \u201cyou already know who it is\u201d we don\u2019t. They have 15 monthly listeners and at least 14 of them are probably bots.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Nov 12 2025 | The signs as their weird secrets Aries: is lowkey addicted to going to rage roomsTaurus: Dr. Pimple Popper\u2019s #1 fanGemini: favorite app is quoraCancer: Collects creepy porcelain dollsLeo: Is scared of the darkVirgo: Committed a hit and run 3 years agoLibra: Makes their food talk to each other while they are [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1645,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"none","_seopress_titles_title":"This week in entirely made up horoscopes\u2026.","_seopress_titles_desc":"the signs as their weird secrets","_seopress_robots_index":"","_lmt_disableupdate":"","_lmt_disable":"","_et_pb_use_builder":"off","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[25],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-24072","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor"],"modified_by":"saragerrick","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24072","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1645"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=24072"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24072\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":24082,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24072\/revisions\/24082"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=24072"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=24072"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=24072"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}