{"id":21437,"date":"2024-10-22T15:00:57","date_gmt":"2024-10-22T23:00:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/?p=21437"},"modified":"2024-10-22T15:01:34","modified_gmt":"2024-10-22T23:01:34","slug":"this-week-in-entirely-made-up-horoscopes-7","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/this-week-in-entirely-made-up-horoscopes-7\/","title":{"rendered":"This week in entirely made up horoscopes&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>This signs past life:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Aries: A war leader who forced their way into the front line.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Taurus: Chef of a Mediterranean\/Canadian fusion restaurant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Gemini: Magician who accidentally sets the stage on fire.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Cancer: A Shark whose pescetarian&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Leo: A motivational speaker who is not so motivating.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Virgo: Chemist who is trying to morph an Oreo and a hotdog.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Libra: Detective who steals the food from the crime scenes.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Scorpio: Professional rock thrower.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Sagittarius: Celebrity who said the wrong thing in an interview and got canceled for it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Capricorn: A black cat named Okra.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Aquarius: An architect who adds pointless elevators to every one-story building.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Pisces: Angry poet who writes about past relationships when they were the problem.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>This signs past life: Aries: A war leader who forced their way into the front line. Taurus: Chef of a Mediterranean\/Canadian fusion restaurant. Gemini: Magician who accidentally sets the stage on fire.&nbsp; Cancer: A Shark whose pescetarian&nbsp;&nbsp; Leo: A motivational speaker who is not so motivating. Virgo: Chemist who is trying to morph an Oreo [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_lmt_disableupdate":"","_lmt_disable":"","_et_pb_use_builder":"off","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[25],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-21437","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor"],"modified_by":null,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21437","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=21437"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21437\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":21438,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21437\/revisions\/21438"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=21437"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=21437"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=21437"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}