{"id":20994,"date":"2024-04-30T17:08:37","date_gmt":"2024-05-01T01:08:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/?p=20994"},"modified":"2024-04-30T17:09:26","modified_gmt":"2024-05-01T01:09:26","slug":"this-week-in-entirely-made-up-horoscopes-3","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/this-week-in-entirely-made-up-horoscopes-3\/","title":{"rendered":"This week in entirely made up horoscopes"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>The signs watch a horror movie<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Aries: imagining themselves as the final girl<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Taurus: \u2018This is so dumb\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Gemini: laughing at the \u201cscary\u201d parts<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Cancer: passed out after the first 5 minutes\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Leo: telling everyone they could survive each scenario<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Virgo: attracted to the villain<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Libra: disgusted by the gore but overall unfazed<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Scorpio: oddly fascinated (don\u2019t question it)<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Sagittarius: closed my eyes during \u201cJurassic Park\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Capricorn: complaining about all the inaccuracies in the gore<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Aquarius: unbothered- bring them something scarier<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Pisces: thinking of their serial killer name\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":1094,"featured_media":9316,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_lmt_disableupdate":"","_lmt_disable":"","_et_pb_use_builder":"off","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[25],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-20994","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humor"],"modified_by":null,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20994","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1094"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=20994"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20994\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/9316"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=20994"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=20994"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=20994"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}