{"id":20332,"date":"2023-10-31T18:27:37","date_gmt":"2023-11-01T02:27:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/?p=20332"},"modified":"2023-10-31T18:28:05","modified_gmt":"2023-11-01T02:28:05","slug":"this-week-in-completely-made-up-horoscopes-68","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/this-week-in-completely-made-up-horoscopes-68\/","title":{"rendered":"This week in completely made up horoscopes"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Here&#8217;s what the signs are doing for the spooky season:<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Aries: Taking out their anger with a pumpkin and carving tools.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Taurus: Why would I walk around to get candy when I could just doordash it? At home, in bed.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Gemini: having more fun getting ready for parties than the actual parties<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Cancer: dressing as a clown and scaring kids to make them drop their candy<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Leo: Going to parties as a Canvas to-do list so maybe she\u2019ll finally look at me<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Virgo: doing the 24 hour challenge at Spirit Halloween<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Libra: Spending all of Halloweekend deciding which scary movie to watch<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Scorpio: Calling their mom because they got lost in the corn maze\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Sagittarius: Doing homework while crying.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Capricorn: Probably working, take a break ya psycho.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Aquarius: Plotting the best route for optimal candy collection\u2026 and finding a kid to go with as an excuse.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Pisces: Not invited to parties, plotting revenge.\u00a0 <\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":1094,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_lmt_disableupdate":"","_lmt_disable":"","_et_pb_use_builder":"off","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[25],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-20332","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor"],"modified_by":null,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20332","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1094"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=20332"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20332\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=20332"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=20332"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=20332"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}