{"id":17084,"date":"2021-01-05T19:42:18","date_gmt":"2021-01-06T03:42:18","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/?p=17084"},"modified":"2021-01-05T19:42:19","modified_gmt":"2021-01-06T03:42:19","slug":"this-week-in-completely-made-up-horoscopes-44","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/this-week-in-completely-made-up-horoscopes-44\/","title":{"rendered":"This week in completely made up horoscopes"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><strong><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/files\/2019\/04\/WordPress-Banner-3-1024x256.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-9829 aligncenter\" width=\"544\" height=\"136\" srcset=\"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/files\/2019\/04\/WordPress-Banner-3-1024x256.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/files\/2019\/04\/WordPress-Banner-3-300x75.jpg 300w, https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/files\/2019\/04\/WordPress-Banner-3-768x192.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 544px) 100vw, 544px\" \/><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>The Western Howl Staff<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><span>Aries 3\/21-4\/19\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><span>Is that an expired COVID vaccine in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?\u00a0<\/span><span><\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p><span>Taurus 4\/20-5\/20<\/span><\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><span>2021 is 2012 backwards but at least this time I\u2019m prepared to die<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p><span>Gemini 5\/21-6\/20\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><span>what\u2019s your favorite absurd way to package wine? mine\u2019s canned<\/span><span><\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p><span>Cancer 6\/21-7\/22<\/span><\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><span>*claps hands with Libra*<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p><span>Leo 7\/23-8\/22<\/span><\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><span>Just send them to the Bermuda Triangle and we won\u2019t have these problems anymore<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p><span>Virgo 8\/23-9\/22<\/span><\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><span>a tubular optical instrument containing lenses and mirrors by which an observer obtains an otherwise obstructed field of view<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p><span>Libra 9\/23-10\/22<\/span><\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><span>If you\u2019re about to spend the stimulus money on things you don\u2019t need and you know it, clap your hands!<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p><span>Scorpio 10\/23-11\/21\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><span>I\u2019m not saying I hate you, but I\u2019d unplug your life support to charge my phone<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p><span>Sagittarius 11\/22-12\/21<\/span><\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><span>I can drink (responsibly) now<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p><span>Capricorn 12\/22-1\/19<\/span><\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><span>Glad we\u2019re still in the peppermint mocha stage of seasonal beverages<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p><span>Aquarius 1\/20 &#8211; 2\/18<\/span><\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><span>nobody:\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span>absolutely nobody:\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span>pharmacist: destroys 500 vaccines because just anyone can be a pharmacist <\/span><span><\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p><span>Pisces 2\/19 &#8211; 3\/20<\/span><\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><span>The amount of serotonin I get from drinking out of odd shaped mugs is unnatural. <\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The Western Howl Staff<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1094,"featured_media":17086,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_lmt_disableupdate":"","_lmt_disable":"","_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[25],"tags":[176,175],"class_list":["post-17084","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humor","tag-horoscopes","tag-humor"],"modified_by":"The Western Howl","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17084","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1094"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=17084"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17084\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/17086"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=17084"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=17084"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=17084"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}