{"id":10355,"date":"2019-05-15T16:52:07","date_gmt":"2019-05-16T00:52:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.wou.edu\/westernhowl\/?p=10355"},"modified":"2019-05-15T16:52:07","modified_gmt":"2019-05-16T00:52:07","slug":"this-week-in-completely-made-up-horoscopes-18","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/this-week-in-completely-made-up-horoscopes-18\/","title":{"rendered":"This week in completely made up horoscopes"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/p>\n

[fruitful_tabs type=”accordion” width=”100%” fit=”false”]<\/span><\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Aries 3\/21-4\/19″] The star dog Cooper graces you with his presence and wishes you the best. He knows you need it. [\/fruitful_tab]<\/span><\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Taurus 4\/20-5\/20″] Sorry Taurus, the stars are busy right now, please leave a message after the beep. [\/fruitful_tab]<\/span><\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Gemini 5\/21-6\/20″] Time to plant your garden, Gemini. Get it done now, and your odds of harvesting one salad\u2019s worth of vegetables by the end of the season will be likely-ish. [\/fruitful_tab]<\/span><\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Cancer 6\/21-7\/22″] Listen, I don\u2019t even know what I am having for dinner. How am I going to help you with your crappy life. [\/fruitful_tab]<\/span><\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Leo 7\/23-8\/22″] The mitochondria is the alpha of the horde. Don\u2019t touch it because it will bite you. Ow. [\/fruitful_tab]<\/span><\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Virgo 8\/23-9\/22″] ~live, laugh, love~ <\/i>\u201cUgh yas, that honestly represents me so well like tbh you just wouldn\u2019t get it.\u201d [\/fruitful_tab]<\/span><\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Libra 9\/23-10\/22″] The stars would like to thank caffeine for sponsoring this week\u2019s horoscopes. [\/fruitful_tab]<\/span><\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Scorpio 10\/23-11\/21″] P E T T H E D O G [\/fruitful_tab]<\/span><\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Sagittarius 11\/22-12\/21″] Girls are great. Treasure the ladies in your life, Sagittarius. [\/fruitful_tab]<\/span><\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Capricorn 12\/22-1\/19″] In six months it\u2019ll be October. Happy half birthday-month, Pumpkin King. [\/fruitful_tab]<\/span><\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Aquarius 1\/20-2\/18″] YEEAASS END OF THE TERM!!! Wait what? We\u2019ve still got three weeks to go? Oof. Hold in there, Aquarius. [\/fruitful_tab]<\/span><\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Pisces 2\/19-3\/20″] I know, I know\u2026 I am sorry we just have to end things\u2026. It’s been four years, Western. It\u2019s hard for me to … but I just need to leave. You\u2019ll find someone else, don\u2019t worry. [\/fruitful_tab]<\/span><\/p>\n

[\/fruitful_tabs]<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

[fruitful_tabs type=”accordion” width=”100%” fit=”false”] [fruitful_tab title=”Aries 3\/21-4\/19″] The star dog Cooper graces you with his presence and wishes you the best. He knows you need it. [\/fruitful_tab] [fruitful_tab title=”Taurus 4\/20-5\/20″] Sorry Taurus, the stars are busy right now, please leave a message after the beep. [\/fruitful_tab] [fruitful_tab title=”Gemini 5\/21-6\/20″] Time to plant your garden, Gemini. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1094,"featured_media":9932,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_lmt_disableupdate":"","_lmt_disable":"","_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[25],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-10355","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humor"],"modified_by":"The Western Howl","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10355","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1094"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=10355"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10355\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/9932"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=10355"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=10355"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=10355"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}