{"id":1867,"date":"2019-02-28T15:48:46","date_gmt":"2019-02-28T23:48:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.wou.edu\/health\/?page_id=1867"},"modified":"2026-02-18T16:14:12","modified_gmt":"2026-02-19T00:14:12","slug":"grief","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/health\/resources\/student-health-101\/emotional-wellness\/grief\/","title":{"rendered":"Grief &amp; Loss"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>[et_pb_section admin_label=&#8221;section&#8221;]<br \/>\n\t\t\t[et_pb_row admin_label=&#8221;row&#8221;]<br \/>\n\t\t\t\t[et_pb_column type=&#8221;4_4&#8243;][et_pb_text admin_label=&#8221;Text&#8221;]<\/p>\n<h1>Grief<\/h1>\n<p>Coping after the loss of someone or something you love is one of life&#8217;s biggest challenges. It&#8217;s normal for the the pain of loss to feel and become overwhelming. Grief is a individual and unique experience. Please remember that there is no right or wrong way to grieve.<\/p>\n<p data-fontsize=\"28\" data-lineheight=\"42\"><strong>What is Grief?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/wou.edu\/health\/files\/2020\/02\/1-15.png\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/wou.edu\/health\/files\/2020\/02\/1-15-300x144.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"850\" height=\"408\" class=\" wp-image-2429 aligncenter\" srcset=\"https:\/\/wou.edu\/health\/files\/2020\/02\/1-15-300x144.png 300w, https:\/\/wou.edu\/health\/files\/2020\/02\/1-15-1024x493.png 1024w, https:\/\/wou.edu\/health\/files\/2020\/02\/1-15-768x370.png 768w, https:\/\/wou.edu\/health\/files\/2020\/02\/1-15-1080x520.png 1080w, https:\/\/wou.edu\/health\/files\/2020\/02\/1-15.png 1350w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 850px) 100vw, 850px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Even subtle losses in life can trigger a sense of grief. For example, you might grieve after moving away from home, graduating from college, or changing jobs. Whatever your loss, it\u2019s personal to you, so don\u2019t feel ashamed about how you feel, or believe that it\u2019s somehow only appropriate to grieve for certain things. If the person, animal, relationship, or situation was significant to you, it\u2019s normal to grieve the loss you\u2019re experiencing.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/wou.edu\/health\/files\/2020\/02\/2-14.png\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/wou.edu\/health\/files\/2020\/02\/2-14-300x144.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"850\" height=\"408\" class=\" wp-image-2430 aligncenter\" srcset=\"https:\/\/wou.edu\/health\/files\/2020\/02\/2-14-300x144.png 300w, https:\/\/wou.edu\/health\/files\/2020\/02\/2-14-1024x493.png 1024w, https:\/\/wou.edu\/health\/files\/2020\/02\/2-14-768x370.png 768w, https:\/\/wou.edu\/health\/files\/2020\/02\/2-14-1080x520.png 1080w, https:\/\/wou.edu\/health\/files\/2020\/02\/2-14.png 1350w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 850px) 100vw, 850px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Whatever the cause of your grief, there are healthy ways to deal with the pain and eventually come to terms with your loss. Grief is a unique experience. Some may experience grief like a roller coaster, while others may experience grief throughout a series of stages.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/wou.edu\/health\/files\/2020\/02\/4-7.png\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/wou.edu\/health\/files\/2020\/02\/4-7-300x144.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"850\" height=\"408\" class=\" wp-image-2432 aligncenter\" srcset=\"https:\/\/wou.edu\/health\/files\/2020\/02\/4-7-300x144.png 300w, https:\/\/wou.edu\/health\/files\/2020\/02\/4-7-1024x493.png 1024w, https:\/\/wou.edu\/health\/files\/2020\/02\/4-7-768x370.png 768w, https:\/\/wou.edu\/health\/files\/2020\/02\/4-7-1080x520.png 1080w, https:\/\/wou.edu\/health\/files\/2020\/02\/4-7.png 1350w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 850px) 100vw, 850px\" \/><\/a> <a href=\"https:\/\/wou.edu\/health\/files\/2020\/02\/5-4.png\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/wou.edu\/health\/files\/2020\/02\/5-4-300x144.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"850\" height=\"408\" class=\" wp-image-2433 aligncenter\" srcset=\"https:\/\/wou.edu\/health\/files\/2020\/02\/5-4-300x144.png 300w, https:\/\/wou.edu\/health\/files\/2020\/02\/5-4-1024x493.png 1024w, https:\/\/wou.edu\/health\/files\/2020\/02\/5-4-768x370.png 768w, https:\/\/wou.edu\/health\/files\/2020\/02\/5-4-1080x520.png 1080w, https:\/\/wou.edu\/health\/files\/2020\/02\/5-4.png 1350w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 850px) 100vw, 850px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p data-fontsize=\"22\" data-lineheight=\"31\"><strong>Symptoms of Grief:<\/strong><\/p>\n<p data-fontsize=\"22\" data-lineheight=\"31\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wou.edu\/health\/files\/2020\/02\/3-13.png\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/wou.edu\/health\/files\/2020\/02\/3-13-300x144.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"850\" height=\"408\" class=\" wp-image-2431 aligncenter\" srcset=\"https:\/\/wou.edu\/health\/files\/2020\/02\/3-13-300x144.png 300w, https:\/\/wou.edu\/health\/files\/2020\/02\/3-13-1024x493.png 1024w, https:\/\/wou.edu\/health\/files\/2020\/02\/3-13-768x370.png 768w, https:\/\/wou.edu\/health\/files\/2020\/02\/3-13-1080x520.png 1080w, https:\/\/wou.edu\/health\/files\/2020\/02\/3-13.png 1350w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 850px) 100vw, 850px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"color: #000000\"><strong>Shock and disbelief.<\/strong><\/span><span>\u00a0<\/span>Right after a loss, it can be hard to accept what happened. You may feel numb, have trouble believing that the loss really happened, or even deny the truth. If someone you love has died, you may keep expecting them to show up, even though you know they\u2019re gone.<\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #000000\"><strong>Sadness.<\/strong><\/span><span>\u00a0<\/span>Profound sadness is probably the most universally experienced symptom of grief. You may have feelings of emptiness, despair, yearning, or deep loneliness. You may also cry a lot or feel emotionally unstable.<\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #000000\"><strong>Guilt.<\/strong>\u00a0<\/span>You may regret or feel guilty about things you did or didn\u2019t say or do. You may also feel guilty about certain feelings (e.g. feeling relieved when the person died after a long, difficult illness). After a death, you may even feel guilty for not doing something to prevent the death, even if there was nothing more you could have done.<\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #000000\"><strong>Anger.<\/strong>\u00a0<\/span>Even if the loss was nobody\u2019s fault, you may feel angry and resentful. If you lost a loved one, you may be angry with yourself, God, the doctors, or even the person who died for abandoning you. You may feel the need to blame someone for the injustice that was done to you.<\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #000000\"><strong>Fear.<\/strong><\/span><span>\u00a0<\/span>A significant loss can trigger a host of worries and fears. You may feel anxious, helpless, or insecure. You may even have panic attacks. The death of a loved one can trigger fears about your own mortality, of facing life without that person, or the responsibilities you now face alone.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p data-fontsize=\"28\" data-lineheight=\"42\"><strong>Take Care of Yourself as You Grieve:<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>When you\u2019re grieving, it\u2019s more important than ever to take care of yourself. The stress of a major loss can quickly deplete your energy and emotional reserves. Looking after your physical and emotional needs will help you get through this difficult time.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000\"><strong>Face your feelings.\u00a0<\/strong><\/span>You can try to suppress your grief, but you can\u2019t avoid it forever. In order to heal, you have to acknowledge the pain. Trying to avoid feelings of sadness and loss only prolongs the grieving process. Unresolved grief can also lead to complications such as depression,<span>\u00a0<\/span>anxiety, substance abuse, and health problems.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000\"><strong>Express your feelings in a tangible or creative way.<\/strong><\/span><span>\u00a0<\/span>Write about your loss in a journal. If you\u2019ve lost a loved one, write a letter saying the things you never got to say; make a scrapbook or photo album celebrating the person\u2019s life; or<span>\u00a0<\/span>get involved in a cause<span>\u00a0<\/span>or organization that was important to your loved one.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000\"><strong>Try to maintain your hobbies and interests.<\/strong><\/span><span>\u00a0<\/span>There\u2019s comfort in routine and getting back to the activities that bring you joy and connect you closer to others can help you come to terms with your loss and aid the grieving process.<\/p>\n<p><strong><span style=\"color: #000000\">Don\u2019t let anyone tell you how to feel, and don\u2019t tell yourself how to feel either.<\/span><span>\u00a0<\/span><\/strong>Your grief is your own, and no one else can tell you when it\u2019s time to \u201cmove on\u201d or \u201cget over it.\u201d Let yourself feel whatever you feel without embarrassment or judgment. It\u2019s okay to be angry, to yell at the heavens, to cry or not to cry. It\u2019s also okay to laugh, to find moments of joy, and to let go when you\u2019re ready.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000\"><strong>Plan ahead for grief \u201ctriggers.\u201d<\/strong><\/span><span>\u00a0<\/span>Anniversaries, holidays, and milestones can reawaken memories and feelings. Be prepared for an emotional wallop, and know that it\u2019s completely normal. If you\u2019re sharing a holiday or life cycle event with other relatives, talk to them ahead of time about their expectations and agree on strategies to honor the person you loved.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000\"><strong>Look after your physical health.<\/strong>\u00a0<\/span>The mind and body are connected. When you feel healthy physically, you\u2019ll be better able to cope emotionally. Combat stress and fatigue by getting enough sleep, eating right, and<span>\u00a0<\/span>exercising. Don\u2019t use alcohol or drugs to numb the pain of grief or lift your mood artificially.<\/p>\n<div class=\"referral box\">\n<p data-fontsize=\"22\" data-lineheight=\"31\">(Retrieved from: <span style=\"color: #ff0000\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.helpguide.org\/articles\/grief\/coping-with-grief-and-loss.htm\/\" style=\"color: #ff0000\">Help Guide<\/a><\/span>)<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>More Information<\/strong>:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.helpguide.org\/articles\/grief\/coping-with-grief-and-loss.htm\">Coping with Grief and Loss<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/learn-about-therapy\/issues\/grief\">Grief, Loss, and Bereavement<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.betterhelp.com\/advice\/grief\/can-grief-counseling-really-help-what-it-is-and-how-it-works\/\">What is Grief Counseling?<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Local Resources:<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/wou.edu\/health\">Student Health and Counseling Center<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/www.wvh.org\/services\/grief-support-and-services.html\">Willamette Valley Hospice Grief Services<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.luminahospice.org\/programs-services\/grief-support\/\">Lumina Hospice Grief Support<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.co.polk.or.us\/bh\">Polk County Behavioral Health<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.dougy.org\/\">The Dougy Center<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column]<br \/>\n\t\t\t[\/et_pb_row]<br \/>\n\t\t[\/et_pb_section]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Grief Coping after the loss of someone or something&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1109,"featured_media":0,"parent":1861,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_lmt_disableupdate":"","_lmt_disable":"","_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"<h1>Grief<\/h1>\r\nCoping after the loss of someone or something you love is one of life's biggest challenges. It's normal for the the pain of loss to feel and become overwhelming. Grief is a individual and unique experience. Please remember that there is no right or wrong way to grieve.\r\n<p data-fontsize=\"28\" data-lineheight=\"42\"><strong>What is Grief?<\/strong><\/p>\r\n<a href=\"https:\/\/wou.edu\/health\/files\/2020\/02\/1-15.png\"><img src=\"https:\/\/wou.edu\/health\/files\/2020\/02\/1-15-300x144.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"850\" height=\"408\" class=\" wp-image-2429 aligncenter\" \/><\/a>\r\n\r\nEven subtle losses in life can trigger a sense of grief. For example, you might grieve after moving away from home, graduating from college, or changing jobs. Whatever your loss, it\u2019s personal to you, so don\u2019t feel ashamed about how you feel, or believe that it\u2019s somehow only appropriate to grieve for certain things. If the person, animal, relationship, or situation was significant to you, it\u2019s normal to grieve the loss you\u2019re experiencing.\r\n\r\n<a href=\"https:\/\/wou.edu\/health\/files\/2020\/02\/2-14.png\"><img src=\"https:\/\/wou.edu\/health\/files\/2020\/02\/2-14-300x144.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"850\" height=\"408\" class=\" wp-image-2430 aligncenter\" \/><\/a>\r\n\r\nWhatever the cause of your grief, there are healthy ways to deal with the pain and eventually come to terms with your loss. Grief is a unique experience. Some may experience grief like a roller coaster, while others may experience grief throughout a series of stages.\r\n\r\n<a href=\"https:\/\/wou.edu\/health\/files\/2020\/02\/4-7.png\"><img src=\"https:\/\/wou.edu\/health\/files\/2020\/02\/4-7-300x144.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"850\" height=\"408\" class=\" wp-image-2432 aligncenter\" \/><\/a> <a href=\"https:\/\/wou.edu\/health\/files\/2020\/02\/5-4.png\"><img src=\"https:\/\/wou.edu\/health\/files\/2020\/02\/5-4-300x144.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"850\" height=\"408\" class=\" wp-image-2433 aligncenter\" \/><\/a>\r\n<p data-fontsize=\"22\" data-lineheight=\"31\"><strong>Symptoms of Grief:<\/strong><\/p>\r\n<p data-fontsize=\"22\" data-lineheight=\"31\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wou.edu\/health\/files\/2020\/02\/3-13.png\"><img src=\"https:\/\/wou.edu\/health\/files\/2020\/02\/3-13-300x144.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"850\" height=\"408\" class=\" wp-image-2431 aligncenter\" \/><\/a><\/p>\r\n\r\n<ul>\r\n \t<li><span style=\"color: #000000\"><strong>Shock and disbelief.<\/strong><\/span><span>\u00a0<\/span>Right after a loss, it can be hard to accept what happened. You may feel numb, have trouble believing that the loss really happened, or even deny the truth. If someone you love has died, you may keep expecting them to show up, even though you know they\u2019re gone.<\/li>\r\n \t<li><span style=\"color: #000000\"><strong>Sadness.<\/strong><\/span><span>\u00a0<\/span>Profound sadness is probably the most universally experienced symptom of grief. You may have feelings of emptiness, despair, yearning, or deep loneliness. You may also cry a lot or feel emotionally unstable.<\/li>\r\n \t<li><span style=\"color: #000000\"><strong>Guilt.<\/strong>\u00a0<\/span>You may regret or feel guilty about things you did or didn\u2019t say or do. You may also feel guilty about certain feelings (e.g. feeling relieved when the person died after a long, difficult illness). After a death, you may even feel guilty for not doing something to prevent the death, even if there was nothing more you could have done.<\/li>\r\n \t<li><span style=\"color: #000000\"><strong>Anger.<\/strong>\u00a0<\/span>Even if the loss was nobody\u2019s fault, you may feel angry and resentful. If you lost a loved one, you may be angry with yourself, God, the doctors, or even the person who died for abandoning you. You may feel the need to blame someone for the injustice that was done to you.<\/li>\r\n \t<li><span style=\"color: #000000\"><strong>Fear.<\/strong><\/span><span>\u00a0<\/span>A significant loss can trigger a host of worries and fears. You may feel anxious, helpless, or insecure. You may even have panic attacks. The death of a loved one can trigger fears about your own mortality, of facing life without that person, or the responsibilities you now face alone.<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<p data-fontsize=\"28\" data-lineheight=\"42\"><strong>Take Care of Yourself as You Grieve:<\/strong><\/p>\r\nWhen you\u2019re grieving, it\u2019s more important than ever to take care of yourself. The stress of a major loss can quickly deplete your energy and emotional reserves. Looking after your physical and emotional needs will help you get through this difficult time.\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #000000\"><strong>Face your feelings.\u00a0<\/strong><\/span>You can try to suppress your grief, but you can\u2019t avoid it forever. In order to heal, you have to acknowledge the pain. Trying to avoid feelings of sadness and loss only prolongs the grieving process. Unresolved grief can also lead to complications such as depression,<span>\u00a0<\/span>anxiety, substance abuse, and health problems.\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #000000\"><strong>Express your feelings in a tangible or creative way.<\/strong><\/span><span>\u00a0<\/span>Write about your loss in a journal. If you\u2019ve lost a loved one, write a letter saying the things you never got to say; make a scrapbook or photo album celebrating the person\u2019s life; or<span>\u00a0<\/span>get involved in a cause<span>\u00a0<\/span>or organization that was important to your loved one.\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #000000\"><strong>Try to maintain your hobbies and interests.<\/strong><\/span><span>\u00a0<\/span>There\u2019s comfort in routine and getting back to the activities that bring you joy and connect you closer to others can help you come to terms with your loss and aid the grieving process.\r\n\r\n<strong><span style=\"color: #000000\">Don\u2019t let anyone tell you how to feel, and don\u2019t tell yourself how to feel either.<\/span><span>\u00a0<\/span><\/strong>Your grief is your own, and no one else can tell you when it\u2019s time to \u201cmove on\u201d or \u201cget over it.\u201d Let yourself feel whatever you feel without embarrassment or judgment. It\u2019s okay to be angry, to yell at the heavens, to cry or not to cry. It\u2019s also okay to laugh, to find moments of joy, and to let go when you\u2019re ready.\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #000000\"><strong>Plan ahead for grief \u201ctriggers.\u201d<\/strong><\/span><span>\u00a0<\/span>Anniversaries, holidays, and milestones can reawaken memories and feelings. Be prepared for an emotional wallop, and know that it\u2019s completely normal. If you\u2019re sharing a holiday or life cycle event with other relatives, talk to them ahead of time about their expectations and agree on strategies to honor the person you loved.\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #000000\"><strong>Look after your physical health.<\/strong>\u00a0<\/span>The mind and body are connected. When you feel healthy physically, you\u2019ll be better able to cope emotionally. Combat stress and fatigue by getting enough sleep, eating right, and<span>\u00a0<\/span>exercising. Don\u2019t use alcohol or drugs to numb the pain of grief or lift your mood artificially.\r\n<div class=\"referral box\">\r\n<p data-fontsize=\"22\" data-lineheight=\"31\">(Retrieved from: <span style=\"color: #ff0000\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.helpguide.org\/articles\/grief\/coping-with-grief-and-loss.htm\/\" style=\"color: #ff0000\">Help Guide<\/a><\/span>)<\/p>\r\n\r\n<\/div>\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>More Information<\/strong>:\r\n<ul>\r\n \t<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.helpguide.org\/articles\/grief\/coping-with-grief-and-loss.htm\">Coping with Grief and Loss<\/a><\/li>\r\n \t<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/learn-about-therapy\/issues\/grief\">Grief, Loss, and Bereavement<\/a><\/li>\r\n \t<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.betterhelp.com\/advice\/grief\/can-grief-counseling-really-help-what-it-is-and-how-it-works\/\">What is Grief Counseling?<\/a><\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<strong>Local Resources:<\/strong>\r\n<ul>\r\n \t<li><a href=\"http:\/\/wou.edu\/health\">Student Health and Counseling Center<\/a><\/li>\r\n \t<li><a href=\"http:\/\/www.wvh.org\/services\/grief-support-and-services.html\">Willamette Valley Hospice Grief Services<\/a><\/li>\r\n \t<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.luminahospice.org\/programs-services\/grief-support\/\">Lumina Hospice Grief Support<\/a><\/li>\r\n \t<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.co.polk.or.us\/bh\">Polk County Behavioral Health<\/a><\/li>\r\n \t<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.dougy.org\/\">The Dougy Center<\/a><\/li>\r\n<\/ul>","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"class_list":["post-1867","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/health\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1867","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/health\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/health\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/health\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1109"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/health\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1867"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/health\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1867\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":108693,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/health\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1867\/revisions\/108693"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/health\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1861"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/health\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1867"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}